Dødsdommen, er det nå?

Jeg har tenkt mye på om jeg skal skrive dette eller om jeg rett og slett skal la være!..

Som vanlig klarer jeg ikke la det ligge, dette er nok en av de tyngste og dypeste tankene, så vær så god.

jeg tenker mye på døden for tiden, jeg tenker på alle de som har valgt og forlate det paradiset som vi skulle bygge opp sammen.

Selv føler jeg at lista bare blir lengre og lengre, faktisk så vet jeg at listen ingen ende vil ta.

Hver gang jeg hører om et dødsfall så tenker jeg umiddelbart på min bror ( noe som jeg selvsagt ALDRI håper skjer) men så viser det seg å være unge mennesker, unge mennesker som ikke er fylt 25 enda!

Når beskjeden kommer, så blir jeg stille, jeg vet ikke hva jeg skal si, jeg tar meg selv i å avslutte hver eneste setning med å si < dette er ikke den siste >.

Det skremmer meg at jeg har hatt rett HVER gang, at bare fler og fler av mine venner velger å avslutte livet.

Skal jeg være ærlig med dere så har lista blitt lengre og lengre og tallet er oppi 11 stykker, 11 stykker folkens fra alderen 15 – 25 år! Selv har jeg vært i 7 av disse 11 sine begravelser. Skal jeg være ærlig så vet jeg ikke om jeg orker å gå i flere begravelser.

Jeg trøster meg selv med å si at jeg vet at vi kommer til å ses en dag, enten når jeg kommer opp eller når de kommer ned.

 

Jeg har sagt før at jeg ønsker å leve evig, men jeg er faktisk ikke sikker lenger.

Får jeg muligheten så tar jeg heller sjansen min på sykesengen enn å tenke på hvor mange av mine venner som har forsvunnet sånn plutselig *POFF*.

Rundt meg har jeg venner som sier og ser ting så klart at jeg kan forstå at jeg kanskje er inne i en epoke i livet, en epoke med sorte vesner som kommer å følger de jeg har mistet inn i et lys som er så sterkt at jeg ikke kan se hva som er på den andre siden.

Med senket hode går de sammen, mot lyset, de sier ikke farvel, de smiler ikke og de sier ikke hade, de bare går.

Mye tenker jeg på sosiale medier om dagen.

Det overrasker meg, men jeg gjør nok det samme som mange andre, jeg sender en beskjed, et brev om tanker og minner av vedkommende. På Facebook-siden, som straks blir omgjort til en minneside blir beskjeder postet, selv om han/hun ikke er her lengre. På denne digitale gravplassen er det flere hundre, nei tusen hilsninger som de ikke kan se engang!

Tenker vi godt nok over det, så vet vi at de ikke kan se det vi skriver, men vi velger som alle andre å tro at de ser.

Jeg forstår at det er godt å dele tanker, minner, drømmer og fine ord, men sånn egentlig, hvorfor har vi ikke fortalt de alle disse flotte ordene når de var her sammen med oss.

For alt vi vet, så var det disse ordene de trengte for å se lyset i tunellen.

Som du sikker leser så undres jeg over hvorfor alle fine ord kommer når vedkommende er død?, men jeg ser at jeg gjorde denne store feilen selv, akkurat i dette øyeblikk. Jeg ser at distansen mellom ønsker og handling bare blir større, at et ønske er et ønske og en handling for blir en handling.

Tiden har forandret seg.

Nå tjener jeg plutselig penger, penger som jeg selv skal forvalte slik at jeg kan leve det livet jeg ønsker. Drømmen jeg så foran meg når jeg lukket øynene mens jeg hørte på musikk som ung er plutselig realitet.

Men nå skal dere høre, jeg har faktisk gått til sengs med alt for mye jeg må takke for

Fra å stikke hånden inn i et medisinskap, blande alt sammen bare for å bli en del av universet, til at jeg kjenner på en stort takk er et under i seg selv.

Jeg begynner å forstå at livet mitt er basert på mye flax, men også tillit mellom enkelt mennesker. Jeg forstår at noen av de som er død har vært venner fra en krets som jeg selv ikke lengre omgås, men som er mennesker jeg har respekt for.

Disse folka har vært med på å forme min oppvekst, min forståelse rundt ting og deltatt i enkelt hendelser å minner som jeg aldri får tilbake.

 

Jeg takker Mamma for at hun er så sterk, så sterkt at hun enda står med begge bena planta på jorda.

Takk til mine venner, kollegaer og ikke minst følgere som støtter meg for den jeg er.

De sier drømmer kan bli sanne, men jeg kan fortelle deg det at mareritt er drømmer og det er akkurat det samme. Det værste er at folk sitter der ute og blander sammen sannheter som ikke fins.

Det er viktig for meg å si at det er bare å gjøre det du gjør og gjør det bra

For vi skal alle bare dø en dag.

Takk for at du leste.

– Alex

2.349 kommentarer til “Dødsdommen, er det nå?”

  1. In addition to soccer and baseball, skiwear also has replicas. He sacrificed heat resistance instead of reducing air resistance

  2. It’s also effective for romantic time with your lover, so why don’t you learn it? Full body massage is not as difficult as you think. Simple preparation and know-how

  3. Thailand is famous for massage all over the world. Acupressure using bare hands and arms is the main focus.

  4. Taking advantage of Manchester United’s free kick situation, the crowd that appeared with an unidentified white object was caught by security guards after about 10 seconds of escape.

  5. Hey!. Interesting post! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  6. Aloha! Interesting post! I’m really enjoy this. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  7. ขอบคุณสรวงสวรรค์ ให้เราแตกได้ทุ๊กกกวันเล่นง่าย จ่ายจริง ถอนรัวๆอยู่ที่ไหน ก็เล่นได้สมัครคลิ๊ก IPRO369

  8. Hi. Such a nice post! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  9. Note: The Xbox 360 version of this game will work on Xbox One. Here are the Best Offline Multiplayer Games for Windows 10 8.1 8 7 PC to Play with Friends Guess Who Multiplayer Who would have thought that the casual-friendly world of PokГ©mon would be such a perfect fit for the hardcore MOBA genre? Many of the genre tropes are present — including jungling, a variety of class types, equippable items, and a steep learning curve — yet somehow, PokГ©mon Unite manages to be a great game for players of all types. Whether you’re grouping up with a few friends in ranked or just taking on a few casual games with random players, there are hundreds of hours of fun to be had with this unique spinoff. Sean Tirman The game developer SDK makes your game online ready with a simple, light-weight integration. Using our industry leading game streaming technology, we’ve eliminated the need for servers and netcode to make your game instantly cross platform and shareable. https://quebeck-wiki.win/index.php/Free_online_multiplayer_games Completing the CAPTCHA proves you are a human and gives you temporary access to the web property. A Highly Addictive Game That You Can Play for Hours Step 4: Google Chrome being 10 years old, a small birthday cap will appear on Dino’s head making him look cuter. Well, kudos to Google for showing us, how dinosaurs look with a birthday cap. More GamesSkill GamesArcade Games yaksgames.com games t-rex-google-dino-run G991C0EC9D Free third-person shooter and building game Feeling like a Neanderthal when your Internet signal dies? Google understands your pains and offers a cool entertainment to fill in time while your connection to the World Wide Web is trying to come back to life: Chrome dinosaur offline game! The Google Dino Game (also known as T-Rex game) is the favorite time killer when your Internet goes down! This easy yet interesting no internet game will definitely help you lower your stress levels on a rough day.

  10. Aloha! Interesting post! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  11. I do trust all the concepts you have presented on your post. They are very convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too short for newbies. Could you please lengthen them a bit from next time? Thank you for the post.

  12. Сейчас узнаваемость виагры составляет 92%, ее предпочитают 87% людей, принимающих препараты для лечения эректильной дисфункции, уверяет директор подразделения «Препараты общей терапии» российского представительства компании Pfizer Данил Блинов. Большую степень известности виагре обеспечивают высокая эффективность и безопасность, убежден он. POTENCIALEX – натуральный стимулятор сексуальной энергии. Действует моментально, благодаря POTENCIALEX вы почувствуете могучую эрекцию, испытаете и подарите своей партнерше сумасшедший оргазм. Сейчас узнаваемость виагры составляет 92%, ее предпочитают 87% людей, принимающих препараты для лечения эректильной дисфункции, уверяет директор подразделения «Препараты общей терапии» российского представительства компании Pfizer Данил Блинов. Большую степень известности виагре обеспечивают высокая эффективность и безопасность, убежден он. Потвердить http://jeffreyzocq542197.blogerus.com/28993699/ Разбираемся со специалистом, что провоцирует импотенцию и при чём здесь порно Таблетки для повышения потенции 100 мг какие фрукты хороши для потенции, увеличение члена хирургия. Таблетки для повышения потенции 100 мг средства для потенции в таиланде, Купить EroTabs капсулы для потенции в Витебске таблетки для повышения потенции вука-вука. Пыльца пчел для потенции отзывы на эффективный крем для увеличения полового члена, для увеличение члена вакум. Реалистичная насадки для увеличения члена грецкие орехи с медом для мужчин рецепт для потенции, кедровые орехи и мед для потенции рецепт. Что полезно для потенции грецкие орехи полезны для потенции, семена льна для потенции что есть мужчинам для потенции на завтрак. Препараты для укрепления потенции дженерики для потенции мужчин отзывы, полезно кушать для потенции. — Ещё есть такой признак как болевые ощущения. Высокий уровень пролактина у мужчин — это гормон стресса — тоже даёт эффект, — напоминает Валерия.

  13. Hi. Interesting material! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  14. I used to be suggested this blog through my cousin. I’m now not positive whether this post iswritten by way of him as nobody else know such unique approximately my problem.You are amazing! Thank you!

  15. I am now not certain the place you are getting your information, but great topic. I must spend a while studying more or working out more. Thanks for magnificent information I was looking for this information for my mission.

  16. Thanks , I’ve just been looking for info approximately this subjectfor a long time and yours is the greatest I’ve found out tillnow. However, what concerning the conclusion? Are you certain concerning the supply?

  17. Aloha! Interesting post! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  18. Thanks for the auspicious writeup. It if truth be told was once a enjoyment account it. Glance advanced to far delivered agreeable from you! By the way, how could we keep up a correspondence?

  19. You could certainly see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always follow your heart.

  20. Hi. Interesting material! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  21. Hey!. Interesting post! I’m really enjoy this. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  22. I quite like looking through a post that will make people think.Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!

  23. Aloha! Such a nice post! I’m really enjoy this. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  24. Hey!. Interesting post! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  25. Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to produce a top notch article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done.

  26. Your manner of describing every thing On this paragraph is admittedly nice, every one can simply be aware of it, Thanks a lot. asla.munhea.se/map10.php mat och h?¤lsa

  27. Aloha! Interesting material! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  28. Hi. Interesting post! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on AP!)

  29. Hi, I do think this is a great blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I’m going to come back once again since i have saved as a favorite it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.

  30. I need to to thank you for this wonderful read!! I absolutely enjoyed every bit of it. I have got you book-marked to check out new stuff you post…

  31. You mentioned it terrifically.how to write good college application essays writing a problem solution essay how to find a ghostwriter

  32. An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I believe that you should write more about this issue, it may not be a taboo subject but typically people don’t talk about these issues. To the next! Kind regards!!

  33. An intriguing discussion is worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you need to publish more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but typically folks don’t talk about such topics. To the next! Many thanks!!

  34. Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail. I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it grow over time. my web-site:

  35. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thanks, However I am experiencing problems with your RSS. I don’t understand why I cannot join it. Is there anybody getting identical RSS problems? Anyone that knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanks.

  36. Hello! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form?I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems findingone? Thanks a lot!

  37. I am not sure where you’re getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for excellent info I was looking for this information for my mission.

  38. Thanks for sharing such a nice thought, piece of writing is good, thats why i have read it entirely

  39. Unless you’re living in Thailand permanently, it’s just not practical to carry full motorbike safety gear around with you. But you can do a hell of a lot better than Flipflops, Swimshorts, a vest & a half helmet. If the rental shop has a full helmet, pick that one! Half helmets offer no protection for you if you face-plant the tarmac. Goodbye teeth. You can pick up a full helmet online. Wear jeans when riding, these will at least offer a small amount of skid protection. And find a cheap denim or leather jacket at one of the markets or export shops. While this offers no impact protection, if you ever fall off, you’ll be grateful for the few layers between you and the asphalt.

  40. Hey! Do you know if they make any plugins tosafeguard against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any suggestions?

  41. Thank you, I’ve just been looking for information about this subject for a long time and yours is the greatest I’ve came upon till now. However, what in regards to the bottom line? Are you positive about the source?

  42. It can also lower anxiety and simultaneously improve sleep in people who’ve experienced physical and emotional trauma, as in researchconducted at the University of Kansas.

  43. The web sites which display such awareness are often ethical in nature and a secure guess. It also permits you maximum publicity and an opportunity to hone your profile creating abilities. Associated Articles Why American singles seek dates at on-line dating providers? testo

  44. I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it?s rare to see a great blog like this one these days..

  45. Howdy! This post couldnít be written any better! Going through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I’ll forward this post to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

  46. Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular post! It is the little changes that will make the most important changes. Thanks for sharing!

  47. I do trust all the ideas you’ve introduced for your post. They are very convincing and can definitely work. Still, the posts are very quick for novices. May you please extend them a little from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.

  48. It is in reality a nice and useful piece of information. I am happy that you shared this useful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

  49. Takipçi almanın en soyut hali takipbonus.com ile sende popülerliğini zirveye çıkart ve istediğin kadar instagram takipçisini tek tıkla hesabına gönder!

  50. I’d love to be a A part of team in which I may get tips from other professional persons that share the exact same fascination. If you have any recommendations, please allow me to know. Thanks.

  51. Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to getmy blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results.If you know of any please share. Many thanks!

  52. คาสิโนออนไลน์เรียกว่ายุคนี้ใครๆจะต้องรู้จักเพราะเหตุว่ากระแสตอบรับดีเลิศๆในกลุ่มนักเสี่ยงดวงรุ่นใหม่ด้วยความที่เป็นที่เข้าใจดีว่าคาสิโนออนไลน์ง่าย สบาย ปลอดภัยสุดๆยิ่ง UFABETที่เป็นเว็บเชื่อถือได้ยิ่งเชื่อถือได้ว่า จ่ายจริงไม่มีกั๊กเลยนะครับ

  53. Itís nearly impossible to find knowledgeable people on this subject, however, you sound like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks

  54. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a colleague who was conducting a little research on this. And he in fact ordered me breakfast because I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to talk about this topic here on your blog.

  55. I must thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this site. I really hope to view the same high-grade content by you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own site now 😉

  56. Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon every day. It’s always exciting to read articles from other authors and practice something from other sites.

  57. Hi, I do think this is an excellent blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will return yet again since i have book marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide other people.

  58. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I’ve really enjoyedsurfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you writeagain soon!

  59. I need to to thank you for this very good read!! I certainly loved every bit of it. I have you book-marked to check out new things you postÖ

  60. After exploring a number of the articles on your blog, I seriously like your technique of blogging. I saved as a favorite it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Take a look at my website as well and tell me what you think.

  61. Hello! I could have sworn Iíve been to this website before but after browsing through many of the posts I realized itís new to me. Anyways, Iím certainly delighted I came across it and Iíll be bookmarking it and checking back often!

  62. Thanks for any other informative blog. The place else could I am getting that kind of info written in such a perfect manner? I’ve a undertaking that I am just now working on, and I’ve been at the look out for such information.