Ensomhet kan være flaut å snakke om

Hva legger vi egentlig i ordet ensomhet.

Ensomhet er en følelse av savn av et ønsket om kontakt med andre. Ensomhet vil si å ha mindre kontakt med andre enn man ønsker, eller at denne kontakten gir så liten sosial verdi at den ikke opphever følelsen av kontaktsavn. Det er ikke nødvendigvis en sammenheng mellom det å være ensom og det å være alene. Man kan være helt alene og fornøyd eller ha en stor omgangskrets og føle seg ensom. Allikevel er mennesker med få kontakter oftere ensom en de med stort nettverk.

La meg ta deg med tilbake til året 2007 hvor jeg ble plassert på barnevernsinstitusjon. Jeg hadde et bredt nettverk og har ikke hatt problemer med å få kontakt med andre mennesker heller. Med et slikt utgangspunkt blir man fort oppfattet som en person som klarer seg godt sosialt og som ikke har ”indre” problemer, i hvert fall så er ikke ensomhet en av dem.

Det jeg lærte var at ensomheten kom sakte men sikkert uten at jeg selv ønsket eller var helt klart over det. Jeg hadde en god bukett med venner, mamma ringte meg og sendte meg brev hver uke. Personalet på ungdomshjemmet var alltid tilstede, snakket med meg og hørte om jeg hadde det bra. Dette ble gjort i beste hensikt for at jeg ikke skulle føle på ensomheten.

Men hva er det som egentlig gjør at man føler på ensomheten når man utad ikke burde føle på den?

Personlig så har jeg erfart at ensomheten kan komme av flere faktorer og situasjoner i livet.

  • Jeg husker somrene som kom å gikk, når jeg helst skulle hygge meg sammen med familie å venner, men hvor savnet etter en spesiell person i livet mitt var tilstedet.
  • 17 mai er en dag hvor ensomheten river skikkelig tak i mange også meg, når vi egentlig skal være festkledde, legge alle problemer på hylla å smile ”fake” til kongefamilien.
  • Julaften er en tid hvor kos og hygge med familien skal være tilrettelagt, men forvandles hos mange til en tid hvor ensomheten er størst.

Ensomhet er noe som kan ramme mange, alt fra toppledere til den helt vanlige mannen på gata.

Ensomhet kan være flaut å snakke om å har den siste tiden blitt omtalt som et tabu og en skam.

Personlig mener jeg at det skal være greit å si at man er alene, det skal være greit å være ærlig med seg selv og at de man har rundt seg godtar det.

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