Raushet, er bedre en taushet

Af

For meg så handlet det ikke lengre om å være den kule i klassen, men heller om å være den kule som stod fram å fortalte om livet sitt, at også jeg som mange andre har hatt det vanskelig.

Det spesielle med det hele var at nå var det plutselig to damer som var genuint interresert i det jeg hadde å fortelle, om ungdomsmiljøet i Bodø, min oppvekst og mine framtidsplaner.

Plutselig ble jeg sett, jeg var ikke lengre alene om alt.

(Noe i dette innlegget er hentet fra en tidligere sak som BodøNu skrev tidligere denne måneden)

Første møtet mitt med Utekontakten i Bodø var da jeg var fjorten år gammel. Da hadde jeg allerede begynt å havne i feil miljø. Jeg vanka ved SAS-hotellet i sentrum midt på natta. Og da tok de kontakt for å spørre hvem jeg var og hva jeg drev med så sent.

Det skal sies at jeg på dette tidspunktet ikke var klar til å møte nye mennesker og i hvert fall ikke klar til å møte mennesker som oppsøkte meg, mennesker som jeg selv IKKE hadde valgt ut.  jeg ønsket å ha kontroll på hvem jeg omgikk, det var tryggest slikt.

Det at de tok sjansen, gjorde at dette ble starten på et helt spesielt langvarig vennskap, mellom meg som «bruker» og utekontakten som hjelper/lytter. Enda den dag i dag spør jeg meg selv, hva er det som gjør at disse to damene ble så viktig for meg?

Mitt svar er enkelt, den autoritære framtoningen var borte, den var aldri til stede! I mange år hadde jeg oppsøkt omsorg der de satt nåler. Nå ble jeg plutselig møtt uten uniform, eller batong, jeg ble møtt med gjensidig respekt og fikk selv velge føringene for samtalen. Jeg ble møtt slik som jeg var, som Gisle Alexander på 14 år.  Det hadde aldri skjedd før, dette var nytt for meg.

Ja, jeg skal være ærlig, tiden før dette møte var jeg en liten «hore» å tok den kolan jeg fikk.

Som barn har jeg alltid slitt med å møte autoritære personer, de menneskene som gikk i uniform utstrålte makt, jeg taklet det dårlig, for meg betydde det trøbbel. Mye av grunnen for dette er nok at de kom når jeg skapte bråk eller gjorde noe jeg ikke skulle.. De var liksom aldri der når jeg gjorde noe bra eller hvis jeg ville snakke om noe viktig, det var utekontakten.

– Bare det at det kom noen bort og spurte hvordan jeg hadde det, føltes veldig godt, her fikk jeg følelsen av at Utekontakten  genuint brydde seg om meg. Og det gjorde igjen at jeg sendte dem en e-post noen uker senere hvor jeg fortalte om en del utfordringer jeg gjerne ville snakke om.

Foto: Sindre Kolberg ( Bodø NU)

Navnet utekontakten kan vel bety som mangt, for meg betydde det en uformell instans som jeg som «bruker» kunne benytte meg av i vanskelige og fine stunder i livet. En kontakt som var operativ, der jeg var.

Det handlet om forståelse for hvem jeg var og hvem jeg ønsket å bli når jeg ble stor.

Utekontakten sa så godt dette i et intervju:

I møte med enkelte instanser blir man kanskje formant og fortalt hva man skal gjøre og hvordan man skal være. Hos oss fikk han selv styre de tingene. Han kunne selv velge hva han ville fortelle oss, og hvordan han ville ha det rundt seg. Det tror jeg hjalp han veldig.

Det jeg har fortalt nå kan kanskje endre på noe, til det positive. Det handler om å møte menneske som de er, der de er❤️

Finnes det ikke grenser for hvor mye skryt enkelte personer skal få?

Det jeg skal fram til er at jeg som mange andre har fått den gyldne gaven, jeg fikk møte disse «vandrende menneskene/ Utekontakten». Nå må vi sammen pakke dem ut, slik at politikerene får opp øynene for hvor viktig dette tilbudet er, at ikke historiene til de mange tusen ungdommene som kommer i kontakt med utekontakten landet over, hvert år bare blir med historiene. For slik skal det ikke være.

Jeg er et levende bevis å det finnes flere. Det handler faktisk om liv eller død, det handler om å se mulighetene ikke begrensingene.

Del gjerne innlegget videre med dine og spre budskapet.

 

(Saken fortsetter, holdt deg oppdatert)

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