Se, hør og forstå barna!

Når jeg sitter her halv trett, sliten og egentlig litt ”fedd-up” på livet, så kom jeg til å tenke på et viktig tema som jeg ønsker å dele med dere, et tema som kanskje kan vekke opp en del minner og få dere til å tenke litt.

Dette innlegget er hovedsakelig rettet til oss voksne som en påminnelse om at vi ikke behøver å være verdensmestere ”hele tiden”, men forståelsesfulle ifht barn og unges psykiske helse. Mitt spørsmål er: ser vi og vet vi egentlig alt?

 

Når jeg skriver ”ser vi egentlig alt” så mener jeg med det at alt vi ikke ser, kan være forklaring på det vi egentlig burde ha sett.

Jeg vet at vi som mennesker i dagens 2016 har en helt unik måte å luke ut de tingene vi ikke interesserer oss for eller som vi ikke ønsker å ta del i. Jeg mener at vi mennesker bruker mindre tid på det vi ikke er opptatt av og mer tid på det vi virkelig bryr oss om. Men du, helt seriøst kan dette gå ut over barna våre?

 

Ja, det tror jeg.

Jeg mener at vi burde bli flinkere til å sette oss inn i dagens 2016, de forventningene som kreves av barn og unge og hvilken verden de vokser opp i. I 2016 har alle sin egen plass en plass hvor utsende, status og karriere spiller en stor rolle!

Det er mye snakk om sosiale medier, hva det kan gjøre, hvor skadelig det er og hvordan forbilder barna våre har og hva de skal bli.

 

Eks. Jeg hører sjeldent et barn fortelle at det skal bli brannmann eller politi, hvorfor ikke? Det er så enkelt som dette, verden har forandret seg.

I mange tilfeller ser jeg tendenser til at barn og ungdom utagerer på en måte som ikke er ”utagerende” i deres øyne, en utagering både fysisk og psykisk. Dette er et reelt forsøk på å bli sett, hørt og forstått.

 

For oss voksne, kan det gjerne oppfattes og sammenlignes med en hund som prøve å snakke vårt språk, selv om vi begge vet at dette ikke er mulig å forstå.

 

Men hvordan burde man egentlig oppføre seg som voksen når barn og ungdom utagerer på en slik måte, hvordan skal man klare å nå inn til de ungdommene som har en litt større ryggsekk og en litt større utfordring en den flinkeste gutten eller jenta i gata?

 

Hvis man ser dette fra et erfarings basert perspektiv så vil jeg si at dette er en måte å prøve å nå fram på for barn og ungdom, kanskje den beste, når ikke ord og følelse er lett å utrykke.

 

Selv har jeg snakket med barn og ungdom gjennom Alexanders metode, ungdom som er i en fase i livet hvor alt annet er prøvd men ingen så, hørte eller forstod dem.

Jeg har sett at etter en utagering mot lærere, voksne eller søsken så er det alltid godt å få luftet seg. Det å la vedkommende forlate situasjonen uten noen form for konfrontasjoner, hindringer og forventinger er en befrielse i seg selv.

Det å kunne få løpe ut av situasjonen, ned til benken ved vannet for å sitte der å kaste stein, rope de styggeste ord og felle en tåre er en likeså viktig del av det store puslespillet i det miljøterapeutiske arbeidet med barn og ungdom.

 

 

Det vi ikke må glemme er:  Det er barn og unge som er framtiden, det er de som er håpet.

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